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New Christmas Classics

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New Christmas Classics

STOOGE CHRISTMAS

by F.R. Duplantier
(with apologies to Walter Kent, Kim Gannon and Buck Ram)

I’ll be home for Christmas
you can plan on me
I must see Moe, Larry, Curly, or Joe
destroy a Christmas tree!

Christmas Eve will find me
where the blue light beams
I’ll be home for Christmas
watching Stooges on TV!

I’ll be home for Christmas
you can plan on me
I must see Moe, Larry, Shemp, Curly Joe
destroy a Christmas tree!

Christmas Eve will find me
where the blue light beams
I’ll be home for Christmas
watching Stooges on TV!

JOLIES BELLES

by F.R. Duplantier
(sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

One morning in Mamou,
I danced with Sal and Sue.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles! Jolies belles!
J’aime les jolies belles!
Quelle joyeux c’est pour danser
Avec les jolies belles!

At breakfast in Breaux Bridge,
I danced with Madge and Midge.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles, ETC.

Midday in Morgan City,
I danced with Kate and Kitty.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles, ETC.

At lunch in Lafayette
I danced with Barb and Bette.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles, ETC.

Afternoon in Abbeville,
I danced with Jane and Jill.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles, ETC.

Late day in Thibodaux,
I danced with Fran and Flo.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles, ETC.

That evening in Ville Platte,
I danced with Pam and Pat.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles, ETC.

Midnight in Mermentau,
I danced with Liz and Lo.
Ooh la la! Comme ci, comme ca,
How I love those pretty girls!

Jolies belles, ETC.

Fraudster the Snowman

by F.R. Duplantier

Fraudster the Snowman
Was an enterprising pol,
With a trust-fund life
And an upturned nose
And a heart made out of coal.

Fraudster the Snowman
Was a senator, they say.
He was made of snow,
But the voters know
How he came to life one day.

There must have been some magic in
Those tight blue jeans they found,
For when they placed them on his legs
He began to dance around.

O, Fraudster the Snowman
Found a way to live for free.
While the people pay,
He could laugh and play
And drive around in an SUV.

Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
Look at Fraudster go.
Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
O the bilge of snow!

Fraudster the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot some days,
So he said, “I’ll hoax
All the stupid folks
And get myself a big pay raise.”

Down to the village,
With a hockey stick in hand
And some bogus graphs
And some doctored stats,
Showing crisis for the land.

He led them to his Waterloo,
Where the facts came out at last,
But he never once admitted that
He was just plain full of crap.

For Fraudster the Snowman
Liked to always have his way,
So he waved goodbye
Saying, “Don’t deny,
I’ll be back again some day.”

Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
Look at Fraudster go.
Huffedy humbug,
Huffedy humbug,
O the bilge of snow!

Janet’s Law is
Coming to Town!

by F.R. Duplantier

You’d rather opt out?
You’d better get scanned,
Cause if you opt out
You’ll get a cold hand:
Janet’s Law is coming to town.

She’s lining you up
And checking you twice,
Couldn’t care less who’s naughty or nice:
Janet’s Law is coming to town.

She sees you when you’re naked,
She knows what’s in your slacks,
She knows that you and grandma could
Launch some terrorist attacks!

O! You’d rather opt out?
You’d better get scanned,
Cause if you opt out
You’ll get a cold hand:
Janet’s Law is coming to town,
Janet’s Law is coming to town.

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