Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
“in are distrik we, de bestes
way mutch, betta den de restes
we mist, lotsa daze
but gots, strat A’s
cuz are teacha, fixt are testes”
From the archive:
THE UTOPIA OF MORE
We’ve spent several billion so far,
And still we have failed in our chore.
Our schools are a mess,
But they could be the best
If we just spent a few billion more.
Show us where in the argumentation
For new “standards” in education
Is their rigorous quality
Or idle frivolity
Given any consideration.
“We ignore those impossible pests
And their parents’ complaints and requests:
As a matter of prudence,
We disregard students
And focus on feathering our nests.”
The teacher now has a new ploy
For the youngster who tends to annoy:
For fussin’ and fidgetin’,
Prescribe him some ritalin
And cure him of being a boy!
WHY JOHNNY CAN’T READ
Musicians must master harmonics
Just as airmen absorb avionics,
But pedagogues flout
The need to “sound out”
And reject all instruction in phonics.
WHAT JOHNNY CAN DO
Johnny’s schooling has been all for naught
When he doesn’t know half that he ought.
If he barely can read,
But knows well how to breed,
Can you guess what Johnny’s been taught?
If you want to be part of the team,
You’ll have to agree with our theme:
Kids don’t really need
To learn how to read
As long as they have self-esteem.
Now our schools have security directors,
Electronic surveillance by sectors,
To keep kids safe and sound
As their scores plummet down
What we need are some mental detectors.
Last week’s limerick:
Evil Earthlings refuse to cut back!
Angry aliens launch an attack!
– NASA’s now using “science”
To foster compliance
With the goals of the globalist claque!