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This Week’s List

Funny Things to Say at Work

  1. I did it my way! Sorry it didn’t work out.
  2. I’m not paid to goof off. I do it for free.
  3. People say my boss is an idiot savant. Well, they’re half right.
  4. It’s true that the cream rises to the top, but sometimes it’s sour cream.
  5. It took me years to become an overnight success.
  6. It’s hard to blow your own horn when all you have is a kazoo.
  7. If you wanted something done right, why’d you come to me?
  8. If I did everything right the first time, I wouldn’t have a full-time job.
  9. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. That’s why I use an anti-perspirant.
  10. I’m a self-made man. What’s your excuse?

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