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Your Weekly Politickle: MASK CHARADE

  • Jul 06 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: MASK CHARADE

MASK CHARADE
“Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!
I’m as virtuous as can be!”
Says the proud, preening prig
With his chest puffed up big.
Then you look and there’s nothing to see.

From the archive

HELTER SHELTER
I can’t breathe with this mask on my face!
Social distancing wastes too much space!
Though I try to comply,
I just have to ask why
All the healthy must shelter in place.
(2020)

DEAF, DUMB, AND BLIND
So, now everyone’s blaming The WHO
For not stopping the CCP flu.
Did the singers of “Tommy”
Unleash this tsunami?
What a thing for a rock band to do!
(2020)

DUMB ON ARRIVAL
“Where am I? The Emergency Room?
My intestines just upped and went boom?
Why’d the president preach
About Lysol and bleach
If I wasn’t supposed to consume?”
(2020)

PANNED MEDIC
Dr. Fauci has long been in bed
With Bill Gates, the old Microsoft head:
Though he tried to inspire us
With a fear of the virus,
His vaccine is what scares us instead.
(2020)

COFFEE BREAK
When you offered to hire us [cough, cough],
We did not have the virus [cough, cough].
Rest assured, then, that we [cough],
Are still virus-free [cough],
So there’s no need to fire us [cough, cough].
(2020)

INSANITIZING
I have followed the experts’ commands,
Blocking access to all of my glands:
There’s not one single trace
Of a germ on my face,
And I’ve scrubbed all the skin off my hands.
(2020)

CORONARYVIRUS
There once was a woman named Beth
Who experienced shortness of breath:
The Wuhan Flu panic
Was making her manic,
And the fretter was frightened to death.
(2020)

THE GIRL WITH EMPHYSEMA
Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl with emphysema starts coughing
And when she passes, each one she passes goes “ew!”

When she coughs, they think it’s the virus
That came from the lab in Wuhan, China
And when she passes, each one she passes goes “ew!”

Oh, but she hasn’t a fever
Though she does have trouble breathing
But, still, they all are aghast
That she isn’t wearing a mask
And they’re sure that she must have the flu

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl with emphysema starts coughing
And when she passes, they cry
She should be quarantined.
(2020)

Last week’s limerick

’STHAT YOU?
You’re a preening, illiterate fool
Who learned nothing but nonsense in school,
So you sneer and you frown
And pull monuments down,
Never knowing you’re used as a tool.

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