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Your Weekly Politickle: DEAF, DUMB, AND BLIND

  • May 04 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: DEAF, DUMB, AND BLIND

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

DEAF, DUMB, AND BLIND
So, now everyone’s blaming The WHO
For not stopping the CCP flu.
Did the singers of “Tommy”
Unleash this tsunami?
What a thing for a rock band to do!

From the archive

PANNED MEDIC
Dr. Fauci has long been in bed
With Bill Gates, the old Microsoft head:
Though he tried to inspire us
With a fear of the virus,
His vaccine is what scares us instead.
(2020)

THE GIRL WITH EMPHYSEMA
Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl with emphysema starts coughing
And when she passes, each one she passes goes “ew!”

When she coughs, they think it’s the virus
That came from the lab in Wuhan, China
And when she passes, each one she passes goes “ew!”

Oh, but she hasn’t a fever
Though she does have trouble breathing
But, still, they all are aghast
That she isn’t wearing a mask
And they’re sure that she must have the flu

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl with emphysema starts coughing
And when she passes, they cry
She should be quarantined.
(2020)

COFFEE BREAK
When you offered to hire us [cough, cough],
We did not have the virus [cough, cough].
Rest assured, then, that we [cough],
Are still virus-free [cough],
So there’s no need to fire us [cough, cough].
(2020)

INSANITIZING
I have followed the experts’ commands,
Blocking access to all of my glands:
There’s not one single trace
Of a germ on my face,
And I’ve scrubbed all the skin off my hands.
(2020)

CORONARYVIRUS
There once was a woman named Beth
Who experienced shortness of breath:
The Wuhan Flu panic
Was making her manic,
And the fretter was frightened to death.
(2020)

Last week’s limerick

DUMB ON ARRIVAL
“Where am I? The Emergency Room?
My intestines just upped and went boom?
Why’d the president preach
About Lysol and bleach
If I wasn’t supposed to consume?”

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