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Your Weekly Politickle: BRIAR PATCH

  • Dec 02 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: BRIAR PATCH

“I surrender and beseech thee:
Though I know you’d like to teach me
A lesson or two,
I beg of you,
Please, please, please, do not impeach me!”


Rudolph the Hard-Nosed Lawyer
Had some very scary foes,
And if you ever had some
You would know how that goes.

All of the local riffraff
Used to laugh and call him names,
They couldn’t get good Rudolph
To join in any riffraff games.

Then one Foggy Bottom eve,
Donald came to say,
“Rudolph, with your hard-nosed fight,
Won’t you drain the swamp tonight?”

Then all the riffraff loathed him,
And they shouted out, “We’ll plea!
Rudolph the Hard-Nosed Lawyer,
We’ll go down in ignomy.”

You’ve printed out your list and trolled us with your glassy stare
Rudy, are you contemplating throwing us somewhere?
Handwriting on the wall says we’re penitentiary-bound
Oh Rudy, don’t take us lowlifes down

It’s hard to justify a life that’s bent and compromised
And the wants and the needs of our criminal ways. Rudy, we realize
That it won’t be long: We’ve heard them say we’re penitentiary-bound
Oh Rudy, don’t take us lowlifes down
*To the tune of Kenny Rogers’ “Ruby”


Last week’s limerick

Every morning I wake up and pray
And give thanks for what might come my way,
’Cause I never expected
To be resurrected
And given the gift of this day.

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