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Your Weekly Politickle: UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE

  • Apr 29 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE
“An illegal, a felon, a tot,
A nonresident, even a bot:
They should all get to vote
And be part of the tote,
Whether living or human or not.”

From the archive

VOTO FINISH
“Immigration concerns are what spur us,
Opposition will never deter us,
And the line of the souls
Heading out to the polls
Stretches all the way down to Honduras.”
(2018)

FRANCHISE OPPORTUNITY
When a voter votes multiple times
And is “punished” for multiple crimes
With a sentence commuted,
Are not others recruited
Likewise to vote multiple times?
(2014)

GRAVE RESPONSIBILITY
Though his body will surely decay,
A dead Democrat’s ballot may stay:
He moves in with the moles,
But remains on the rolls
And continues to vote anyway.
(2012)

NIGHT OF THE VOTING DEAD
“We’ll be summoned from slumberous state
To endorse the biennial slate;
Then it’s back to the grave,
Where we’ll try to behave
‘Til another electoral date!”
(2004)

REGISTERED VOTERS
The polls open and who comes in?
Mary Poppins and Mickey Finn,
Then Betty Boop
And Alley Oop,
Sherlock Holmes and Gunga Din!
(2004)

TWO-DAY ELECTION?
To ensure that the balloting may
Proceed in an orderly way:
On Tuesday, please note,
All Republicans vote –
And all Democrats on the next day.
(2002)

WINNING BY A WHISKER
“Our Party is poised to prevail
With this new registration by mail:
All corpses and cats
Are staunch Democrats,
So our candidates simply can’t fail!”
(1998)

ROCK THE VOTE (TO SLEEP)
If free markets are something you dread,
Our Constitution is over your head,
And American history
To you is a mystery,
On election day, please, stay in bed!
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

MUELLER RETORT
Robert Mueller was forced to conclude
Donald Trump is incredibly shrewd:
Though it looks to the throng
Like he did nothing wrong,
He conspired so as not to collude.

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