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Your Weekly Politickle: RE GIFT


Your Weekly Politickle: RE GIFT

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Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

When I say this, I’m being sincere:
I don’t dislike fruitcake, my dear.
It’s just I’m bewildered
’Cause it looks so familiar –
Like the one that I gave you last year.

From the archive

A fruitcake came one day
And I sent it on its way.
The next day, then,
It was back again,
But here it cannot stay.
I sent it to one brother,
Who sent it to another.
It eventually
Came back to me,
In a package from my mother.
I sent it to a friend —
At least, he was ’til then.
He sent it back
With a caustic crack
And we never spoke again.
I sent it to my boss
And signed it “Santa Claus.”
My name he guessed
And readdressed
That spice-baked albatross.
I sent it to a client,
Who proved to be defiant:
It seems the space
In his office place
Is fruitcake noncompliant.
I picked someone at random
In hopes that he could stand ’em.
It was returned:
Somehow he’d learned
I was the Fruitcake Phantom.
If a fruitcake comes today,
I think I’ll let it stay.
It’s crystal clear
Its place is here —
And I must move away.
Some people will complain
Or think that you’re insane
When you send out ten
To foe and friend
And start a fruitcake chain.
But those ten people then
Will send out ten again:
Not one will deign
To break the chain
And risk a tragic end.
One caution you should heed
Before you do proceed:
What you send out may
Come back one day
In numbers you don’t need.

Last week’s limerick

All the kids make a merry mad dash
And they open their gifts in a flash,
But they leave all the wrapping
On the floor while they’re napping
And the gifts get thrown out with the trash.

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