Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
An accuser cites her fear of flying
To justify not testifying,
But she’s been everywhere
And has traveled by air,
So it’s clear she has no fear of lying.
From the archive
Has that Weiner and Spitzer gland:
S&M is his style,
Choking chicks makes him smile.
Look out! Here comes weird Schneiderman!
“When a woman accuses, discredit her
(With the help of a compromised editor):
Though she’s anything but,
Call the woman a slut,”
Said the wife of a serial predator.
“I support, I embrace, I exalt
Every victim of sexual assault
– Unless it was Bill
Exercising his will,
In which case, the hussy’s at fault.”
“Though I handled Bill’s bimbo outbreaks,
Doing damage control on ‘mistakes,’
It meant nothing to me
And I really don’t see,
At this point, what difference it makes.”
SENSE OF HUMA
“If your husband is horny like Bill,
You should pose as the good wife like Hill.
Do whatever you must
To regain public trust:
Once in office, then do what you will.”
Oh, you ought to get an oscar, “Mayor” Weiner,
For the explanation of your tweet,
But I doubt you’ll get an oscar, “Mayor” Weiner,
Or even keep your legislative seat.
If a human is hungry for strudel,
He can get some by using his noodle,
But his quest for confection
May result in rejection
If he paws like a poor, crazed sex poodle.
“New York State Attorney General” rang fine,
“New York Governor” sounded divine,
And yet even more eminent
Would have been “U.S. President”
– But, instead, he is now “Number 9.”
MISS KOPECHNE REGRETS
“Though I’ll miss your grand tribute to Ted,
I’ll be with you in spirit instead
As you strive to deny
That grave night in July
When he swam off and left me for dead.”
SO THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL IT!
She was flattered he found her appealing,
But preferred that he be less revealing.
Bill tried to explain
He was feeling her pain,
But Paula knew what he was feeling!
Nelson, Luciano, Capone
All had nicknames uniquely their own.
In Bill Clinton’s case,
You can bet “Cigarface”
Is the moniker by which he’ll be known!
The intern arrived optimistic,
But her outlook proved unrealistic.
Now she’s anxious to flee,
Having learned that D.C.
Means “Distinguishing Characteristic.”
PUTTING THE LEG IN LEGACY
A filtering V-chip’s desired
‘Til our Masher-in-Chief is retired:
His obsession with sex
Makes our news triple-X
And parental discretion required.
From justice they craftily fled
And avoided the sanctions they dread;
Now O.J. and Bill
Can linger at will
In the night of the fast-living dead.
Last week’s limerick
“Justice of the Supreme Court I will be
When I’m grown up, you wait and you’ll see –
Unless somebody nosy
Conspires to expose me
For tantrums I threw at age three.”