:::: MENU ::::

Your Weekly Politickle: TOXIC

Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: TOXIC

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

TOXIC
Modern mother, what harm you have done:
You’ve admonished your fatherless son
Not to shout, not to run,
Not to shoot a toy gun,
Not to ever have any real fun!

From the archive

BE PREPARED
Who knows what to make of “scouting”
And once-winsome words like “outing”?
What plain terms mean
May be obscene
When acceptance turns to touting.
(2013)

OUTLAW SCOUT LAW?
Should Scouts suppress their squareness
For fashionable fairyland “fairness”
And give badges of merit
To all who can parrot
Propaganda on “AIDS awareness”?
(2001)

BOYS WILL BE BOYS
“If we must give up guns, sticks, and balls
And like girls be content just with dolls,
Then we’ll rip off their heads
And tear them to shreds
And bounce all the bits off the walls.”
(2001)

Lagniappe

PUT IT ON THE LIST
(Mother’s plea, to the tune
of “Puttin’ on the Ritz”)

Have you seen the work I do
Up and down this house for you?
When I come back from the store,
Then you tell me we need more

Bath soap and talcum powder,
Parsnips and crab-corn chowder,
Premium potting soil
And aluminum foil?

If we need more peanut butter,
Communicate that to your mother,
Please assist:
Put it on the list.

No, I didn’t buy
More cans of tuna,
Tell me why
You couldn’t ask me sooner.
Can’t read lips:
Put it on the list.

Mustard’s gone
And I’m left out the loop on.
Makes me mad,
I had a half-price coupon
(On Grey Poupon)!

You can grin
And bear your sorrow.
I won’t shop again
Until tomorrow
Don’t throw fits:
Put it on the list.

Pepper jack
Would make you happy snackers?
It’s too bad that
There’s a lack of crackers.
(Sorry, slackers)!

If you’d write
Before I’m shopping,
Then I might
Avoid some stopping
I insist:
Put it on the list!
(2015)

Last week’s limerick

DEEP STATE
They assure us they’re loyal and true
And were not instigating a coup
By creating the illusion
Of Russian collusion.
Well, that’s that. I’m convinced. How about you?

Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: