Politickles

Mass times and readings

Featuring 113 essential primary source documents, THE U.S. CONSTITUTION: A READER is taught as part of the core undergraduate course on the U.S. Constitution at Hillsdale College.

Divided into eleven sections with introductions by members of Hillsdale’s Politics Department faculty, readings cover the American founding, Civil War, Progressivism, and the rise of the administrative state.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

A LA MODE
“I’m no savage, brute, bully, or hick,
But some things in my craw really stick:
With my set, it’s the fashion
To react with great passion
And go nuts when we see a bad flick.”

From the archive:

THE RULES
“We can tell filthy lies about you
And there’s nothing at all you can do,
But we’ll make such a fuss
If you criticize us –
Even if what you say is quite true.”
(2007)

THE PRICE IS RIOT
A new cell phone or VCR?
CD player to put in your car?
Don’t bother to buy it,
Just set off a riot,
Get it free at the bandits’ bazaar.
(2001)

Last week’s limerick:

HERE WE GO AGAIN!
Jimmy Carter’s the president when
Some insane Arab protests begin
And is justly rewarded,
Being rightly regarded
As a laughingstock ever since then.

Mass times and readings

Another email yesterday from the oafs at OFA (Obama/Organizing for America):

You, President Obama, a table, chairs, and some grub.

Want to give it a shot?

Donate $5 or whatever you can, and you’ll be automatically entered for the chance to join the President for dinner:

It’ll be pretty awesome — we’ll even fly you (and a friend) out for the big night.

Thanks,

Obama for America

P.S. — This is the last Dinner with Barack of the campaign. You’ve stood with the President when it counted. Don’t you want to sit down for a meal with him? Don’t miss out.

My response: Who’s the grub, Biden?

Dinner with the President

Yesterday, I received this urgent exhortation from the president of the United States:

As we’re organizing the last dinner with supporters on my last campaign, our kind of politics is running up against a very cynical calculation:

That a few billionaires writing $10 million checks are enough to overpower the voices of millions of Americans — people like you, moving our campaign forward by talking to your friends and neighbors about all that we’ve accomplished together in the past four years, and all that we still plan to do.

That’s why I want to meet you for dinner.

Donate $5 or whatever you can to our people-powered campaign, and be automatically entered to join me — hotel and airfare covered for you and a guest.

Overnight, we aren’t going to change the rules that allow outside groups to spend hundreds of millions of dollars attacking me on the airwaves.

So we have to stay on the case every day.

Last week we learned that more than 1.1 million donors in August alone — out of more than 3 million people supporting this effort — had outraised Mitt Romney and the Republicans for the first time since April. Today, I’d like you to join them.

If we keep doing this our way, I guarantee you there’ll be no stopping us.

Donate $5 or whatever you can today and you’ll be automatically entered to be at the table.

Thanks,

Barack

P.S. If you’re planning on donating to this campaign at some point in the future, don’t wait. Your grassroots donation means more today because it can be put to work right now, building the organization it will take to win. Exactly 47 days to go.

My response: Before I contribute, I’d like to know one thing: What’s for dinner?

Dinner with the President

Yesterday, I received this urgent exhortation from the vice president of the United States:

Look, you’ve really got to get involved here.

We’ve got the last Dinner with Barack of this campaign coming up, and before this tradition is over I think you should give it a shot.

Chip in $5 or whatever you can and you’ll automatically be entered for a chance to fly out with a guest for dinner with the President. Your airfare and hotel are on us.

Thanks,

Joe

P.S. We’ve got just 48 days left in this campaign — and every last one counts. Donate today and help fund our ground game for these last few weeks.

My response: I’ve been out of work for four years, Joe. Could you put up the $5 for me. I”ll pay you back if I win.

Dinner with the President

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

HERE WE GO AGAIN!
Jimmy Carter’s the president when
Some insane Arab protests begin
And is justly rewarded,
Being rightly regarded
As a laughingstock ever since then.

From the archive:

BOHICA
We survived Bill and Jimmy and Jack
– Every one an incompetent hack –
And it’s certain we will
Survive Mrs. Bill
Or her radical rival, Barack.
(2008)

BOOBY PRIZE
For years his rare record has stood
And it looked like forever it would,
But Bill Clinton’s the man
Who said, “Yes, yes I can:
I can make Jimmy Carter look good!”
(2001)

MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(2000)

Last week’s limerick:

HOSANNA OBAMA!
This convention was more than just odd,
With the delegates given a prod
To embrace depraved gaiety,
Overthrow the true deity,
And install Lord Obama as god.

Mass times and readings

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

HOSANNA OBAMA!
This convention was more than just odd,
With the delegates given a prod
To embrace depraved gaiety,
Overthrow the true deity,
And install Lord Obama as god.

From the archive:

FAITH IN GORE
“All you skeptics who try to besmirch
Our beliefs will be left in the lurch
As we celebrate dearth
And increase our net worth
At St. Albert Gore’s Climate Change Church.”
(2011)

BARRY CHRISTMAS?
Tis the season of change and of hope –
The kind that is real and not soap –
But, to meet your Messiah,
You will have to look higher
Than some fast-talking, power-mad dope.
(2009)

OPUS TWO
Of the varied lay orders he scoured,
Opus Dei above others towered,
But the postulant was dopey
And espoused Deus Opie,
Unaware that they worshipped Ron Howard.
(2002)

SCHADENFREUDE
Why do liberals like to besmirch
Institutions confirmed by research
As conducive to wealth,
Happiness, and health –
Such as marriage, the family, and church?
(1998)

Last week’s limerick:

BIG FINISH
“Just imagine what waits in the wings,
All the wonders another term brings!
[pause for clapping & cheers]
Give me just four more years
And I swear you won’t recognize things!”