Politickles

Aware, though unwilling to admit, that Democratic policies over the past 50 years have had a disastrous impact upon the American family, and seeing the need to placate family-oriented voters at least until they can finish destroying the institution, the Democrats have made an impressively unified effort to recast themselves as friends of the family in 1988. Repackaging abortion, welfare, homosexuality, disarmament, and tax hikes as family commodities, however, is no mean trick. But the Democrats are nothing if not audacious, and they have made a valiant effort. Moreover, they have exploited for all its worth the one association between Democrats and families that cannot be contested: They all have them! Barring spontaneous generation, all party members can be shown to have sprung from the union of two parents (of opposite sexes yet!). Some have brothers and sisters and cousins. Others even have produced offspring of their own. – “One Big Happy Family,” F.R. Duplantier

Click on the link above to read my full account (4-page pdf) of the phony family fest at the 1988 Democratic Convention in Atlanta.

The French phrase “Cherchez la femme,” which translates roughly as “behind every man’s problems is a woman,” may be outdated and politically incorrect, but it still applies to France’s Socialist President Francois Hollande. – Washington Times

Why is “cherchez la femme” constantly mistranslated? It has nothing to do with blaming women for the failings of men. It has to do with finding men on the lam. If you want to find a man who’s hiding out, find out where his wife or girlfriend is and you can bet he’ll show up there eventually. Cherchez la femme et cherchez l’homme! Find the woman and you find the man! Ça, c’est tout!

I can’t help being suspicious of definitions and translations that seem to be politically charged. I have a 1991 dictionary (Random House Webster’s College Dictionary) that has a special section entitled “Avoiding Sexist Language” (the book was a gift) and it gives a similar twist to this old expression, describing it as “a facetious suggestion that a woman may be at the root of a problem.” A person determined to take offense can always find occasion, but I believe this expression is meant to be a (perhaps backhanded) compliment to women, not an insult.

In 1970 author Jerzy Kosinski published a highly implausible novel about an affable dolt named “Chance” who becomes president by virtue of his uncanny ability to be in the right place at the right time. The book, and the movie made from it (starring Peter Sellers as the bewildered gardener who wanders into the presidency), was called Being There. George [H.W.] Bush may not be the least likely candidate ever to run for the highest elected office in the land, but “being there” does seem to be his primary qualification. – “New Orleans 88: George Was There,” F.R. Duplantier

Click on the link above to read my full account (4-page pdf) of the prefabricated festivities at the 1988 Republican Convention in New Orleans.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PET PEEVE
“Master says that my weight is too low,
That he wants me to eat more and grow,
Be at least twice this size,
But that gleam in his eyes
Looks a little suspicious,” growled Bo.

From the archive:

BEST OF SHOWS
Barry tunes in TV every night:
Rin Tin Tin, Scooby-Doo his delight.
Then there’s Benji and Lassie,
Augie Doggie and Daddy –
How they work up that man’s appetite!

CAVE CANEM
All the diplomats gathering, greeting,
And locating their specified seating.
In their midst, a big grinner,
The man hosting their dinner.
Only he really knows what they’re eating.

CHOW TIME
At the Kmart, the president got
A new 16-quart stainless steel pot;
He’d been getting much thinner,
So he had friends for dinner:
Rex, King, Rover, Spike, Fido and Spot.

Last week’s limerick:

BUILD-A-BARRY
Though I have ugly feelings about him
And consistently set out to flout him,
I still have to admit
He has sharpened my wit
And I can’t write this limerick without him.

Mass times and readings

In order to pull together his bloodied party, Ford at the end of his remarks motioned to Reagan, who was high atop the hall in his skybox, to come and join him at the podium. Ford also had a hidden agenda, even as Reagan flashed a “thumbs up” while shaking his head no, that he would prefer to stay where he was. – Craig Shirley

I had help building this.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BUILD-A-BARRY
Though I have ugly feelings about him
And consistently set out to flout him,
I still have to admit
He has sharpened my wit
And I can’t write this limerick without him.

From the archive:

EVERYONE’S BUSINESS
Though our work be a labor of love,
Still, we have to have help from above:
Yes, we have to depend
On that one special friend
Whom we pray to at whitehouse.gov.
(2012)

‘S MOTHER
Oh, thank goodness the government’s there
To precaution and make me beware:
I’m now starving to death,
Blue from holding my breath,
‘Cause I’m frightened of food and of air.
(2011)

INTELLIGENT DESIGN
Did this limerick just appear?
Was this limerick always here?
Surely you know it
Betokens a poet
Like Duplantier, Nash, or Lear.
(2001)

Last week’s limerick:

CANDY CROWLEY REPORTS
“You would have to be totally blind
Or completely out of your mind
To begin to esteem
The Republican team:
They’re too decent, intelligent, kind.”

Mass times and readings