Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

SPACE CRAFT
Evil Earthlings refuse to cut back!
Angry aliens launch an attack!
– NASA’s now using “science”
To foster compliance
With the goals of the globalist claque!

From the archive:

CAP’N TRADE
“Here I come to save the day!
Everyone will have to pay!
I will pull a switch
That will make me rich
As my stock goes up and away!”
(2009)

LOST ON EARTH
We’re so eager to find a trace
Of the least little life in space,
But here on Earth
We bar the birth
Of lives we could embrace.
(2001)

Last week’s limerick:

IN LOCO PARENTIS
It is time to let go of the dears
We have formed in their faith 18 years –
And to spend, as we planned,
More than one hundred grand
On their faith-killing college careers.

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Mass times and readings

Two provocative essays from Imprimis, a monthly publication of Hillsdale College:

We are often told that we possess the most powerful military in the world and that we will face no serious threat for some time to come. We are comforted with three reassurances aimed at deflecting any serious discussion of national security: (1) that Islam is a religion of peace; (2) that we will never go to war with China because our economic interests are intertwined; and (3) that America won the Cold War and Russia is no longer our enemy. But these reassurances are myths, propagated on the right and left alike. We believe them at our peril, because serious threats are already upon us. – Brian Kennedy, Claremont Institute

To begin, consider one of the most important measures of property, the kilogram. It’s a measure of mass or, for non-scientific purposes, weight. According to the papers last week, a global scramble is under way to define this most basic unit after it was discovered that the standard kilogram— a cylinder of platinum and iridium that is maintained by the International Bureau of Weights and Measures — has been losing mass. – Seth Lipsky, New York Sun

Geaux Is No Go!

One of my friends back home in New Orleans tells me that the linguistic monstrosity geaux is now epidemic. Apparently, he’s right.

Regardless of how prevalent it is,  geaux is just plain stupid. It makes no sense at all — in any language. In French, a g followed by an e is a soft g, so it doesn’t sound like go, it sounds like zho. What geaux really means is, “I’m not even monolingual, much less bilingual.”

But it just keeps spreading. The Saints stole it from LSU, and LSU stole it from USL, which was using it in the 70s and making the odd literate Lousisianan cringe way back then.

Also widespread is the butchering of Laissez les bons temps rouler: Let the good times roll! Or, Laissez le bon temps rouler: Let the good time roll. Either one is correct, but nobody ever gets either of them right. Inevitably, they combine the two, mixing les (plural) with bon (singular), or spell rouler (infinitive) as roulez (2nd person plural) or roulé (past partiple).

Then there’s the utterly mindless use of accents. When I first started teaching English composition at USL, a professor warned me about the kids with the comma shakers. They had no idea where commas went; so, when they finished their compositions, they’d just sprinkle some on at random, which is what most people do with accents. But accents, like commas, have a logic to them. They’re not arbitrary. It’s acceptable to leave them out sometimes in places where they really should go, but it’s never acceptable to put them where they don’t belong.

A relative of mine has the accent affectation — she’s so proud of the heritage she knows nothing about — and insists on using them, always incorrectly. But the absolute worst is an art director I used to work with, who thinks they’re simply decorations. He once showed me a full-page ad he’d worked up with a three- or four-line headline sprinkled with diacritical marks (lots of tildes) as though they were “confetti.” He asked me what I thought and I said I didn’t like his use of symbols. He explained, in the condescending tone he always adopted with smarter people, that they were meant to give the ad a festive air. I responded that diacritical marks had specific meaning, that they were not meant to be used as confetti, and that they gave the ad an air of ignorance. He didn’t appreciate my input and probably ignored it.

I moved away from New Orleans, for the second time, 16 years ago. The city was falling apart back then, long before Katrina. If the ongoing corruption of language is any indicator, it’s only gotten worse. In any case, it’s clear that I can’t geaux home again.

Watch Your Language, cont.

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

IN LOCO PARENTIS
It is time to let go of the dears
We have formed in their faith 18 years –
And to spend, as we planned,
More than one hundred grand
On their faith-killing college careers.

From the archive:

GRADUATION DAZE
There once was a student named Bob
Who stood out from the mortarboard mob;
Now he’s got his diploma,
But he’s caught in a coma
‘Cause he can’t find a well-paying job.
(2009)

RE: ORIENTATION
Fully formed are your heart, soul, and mind
With the facts of a faith well defined.
Now we send you to college,
Where a secular “knowledge”
Will ensure that belief’s undermined.
(2005)

P.C. (POST CHRISTIAN)
The other children teased her
For being a faithful feaster:
When the pagan takes
His seasonal breaks,
She celebrates Christmas and Easter.
(2002)

QUEENS COLLEGE
“Your report card’s created a fuss
With your father and me: Both of us
Are a little bit leery
Of this course called ‘Queer Theory’
– And the fact that you got an A-plus.”
(2002)

GRADUATION DEITY
No religious beliefs were expressed
In his valedictorian address,
But he feigned an “achoo!”
And his classmates on cue
In unison shouted “God bless!”
(2002)

CLARITY BEGINS AT HOME
Their parents won’t be overruled,
Nor their personal values retooled.
Their minds will grow strong
As they learn right from wrong,
‘Cause these children are being homeschooled.
(2000)

FRESHMAN ORIENTATION
Students headed for college each fall
Have to keep their opinions in thrall:
It’s essential to be
Perceived as “PC,”
So they try not to speak up at all.
(1999)

FAILING MARX
Socialism is dead!
Done in, the indomitable Red!
Or so it would seem,
But in academe
One had better check under one’s bed.
(1998)

GRAD SONG
The student goes to college
And an education forges,
But I fed too much
On knowledge and such,
And now my brain disgorges:
Within the dark and dismal class,
You’ll no longer spot my features.
My notes I burned,
And since I’ve learned
What I never could from teachers.
(1975)

Last week’s limerick:

FULL COVERAGE
“Save Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Cain,
Male debaters wore ties blue and plain;
And, though Bachmann chose gray,
Darker suits won the day.
This is Chris Wallace from the campaign.”

To join the weekly politickle subscriber list, email subscribe [at] politickles.com.

Mass times and readings

Environmental fascists like Al Gore should shut up and get out of the way, so the real visionaries can work their entrepreneurial magic. The three posts linked below, all from PercReports.org, show what truly clever and caring people can accomplish.

Thong That Never Ends

Julie Church, a native of Nairobi, one of the world’s experts on coral fish and a passionate marine conservationist, became concerned about the unsightly flip-flops strewn across Kenya’s beaches while working for the World Wildlife Fund. She knew that the debris was not only a threat to the marine ecosystem, but could also drive away tourists who were vital to the economy.

Ferrate Faith

In the not too distant future, a water treatment module carried in the bed of a pickup truck could be the best and cheapest water purification system on the planet. For just $30, it would purify a million gallons of polluted water. Luke Daly, founder of Ferrate Treatment Technologies in Orlando, FL, has taken a chemical compound discovered almost 300 years ago, and invented a technology that could be critical to global wellbeing in the 21st century.

Better Living Through ChemisTree

Where live trees have struggled and died, Treepods, artificial trees made from plastic bottles, fill the void. Of course, the leaves don’t bud out in the spring or rustle in the wind, but a Treepod park provides a tranquil urban space, a social gathering spot, and most importantly, removes CO2 from the air — a critical function of real trees.

Radical Muslims are using U.S. prisons to recruit hardened criminals for terrorist activities, counterterrorism experts told Congress [in June]. – Washington Times

Back in 1988, when I was on the staff of a national conservative news magazine, an old Jewish inventor named Eli Raitport contacted me and asked me to edit a couple of manuscripts that he’d written about the security problems facing the United States at that time. At least once, he came to my house in Brockton, about a half hour south of Boston, to discuss the projects.

Among other things, Raitport had invented a small robotic assault vehicle that police departments were already using to make their way into “rock houses,” the heavily fortified lairs of drug dealers.

I don’t recall whether or not this made it into either of his books, but at one point Raitport related to me his disturbing vision of an amazingly simple scenario by which a revolution could be quickly launched in the United States. It was sheer genius.

Raitport had noted that there were large penal institutions all over America filled with hardened criminals and sociopaths — the perfect raw material for a terrorist army. He’d also noted that these penitentiaries were designed to keep people in, not out.

Supposing, he said, that a series of commando units simultaneously attacked these institutions all across the country? How hard would it be for them to gain entry and overpower the guards? Having done so, and moving from cell to cell, they would then release every prisoner who agreed to join their revolutionary army.

Most, presumably, would jump at the chance. Those who balked would be shot.

How many would stay in the ranks after gaining their freedom? It didn’t really matter, said Raitport. If they stayed with the commandos, all the better. But, having hundreds of thugs and murderers running amok in communities all across America would wreak its own unpredictable havoc and distract police and citizens alike from the larger threat.

Raitport’s disturbing vision seemed plausible enough in 1988. Twenty-three years later, it seems almost inevitable.

The assassinations of John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Bobby Kennedy are etched in the memories of all middle-aged and elderly Americans. For older New Orleanians, there are two additional moments that stand out: the Rault Center fire in November of 1972 and the Howard Johnson sniping incident in early January of 1973.

For some reason, the name of the Black Muslim HoJo sniper, Mark Essex, popped into my head recently and I decided to look him up online. This post offers a thorough account of the incident and the events leading up to it. It’s broken into 15 short “chapters” that can be read in less than an hour total (chapters 16 & 17 display photos and citations).

The story starts out by noting that the Black Muslim DC sniper, John Allen Williams (AKA Muhammad), then 12 years old, lived in nearby Baton Rouge at the time, a fact I originally interpreted as an interesting bit of trivia and nothing more.

I was subsequently struck, however, by an odd detail in Chapter 7 that reminded me of Muhammad: Mark Essex going into a small local grocery to buy lipstick.

Who was this “loner” buying lipstick for — a girlfriend, a boyfriend, himself? How many men, white or black, have ever bought lipstick? I never have, and no woman has ever asked me to — including my wife of 25 years, who no doubt knows that I’d come home with the wrong brand/shade/applicator/whatever.

When he went on his rampage decades later, Muhammad was accompanied by a young male companion of close, but uncertain relationship.

Which raises the question: Is there some Muslim/homosexual connection that we need to know about, or did these two fonts of rage just happen to converge in one person, twice?

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

FULL COVERAGE
“Save Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Cain,
Male debaters wore blue ties and plain;
And, though Bachmann chose gray,
Darker suits won the day.
This is Chris Wallace from the campaign.”

From the archive:

SORRY CHARLIE
How they made such a hullabaloo
Over one rather blah interview!
Sarah Palin’s got class,
Charlie Gibson’s an ass –
These are things that we already knew!
(2008)

JENNINGS DOES BASEBALL
“Diehard fans are still cheering and grinning,
Convinced that their favourites are winning:
Yes, their team’s up by ten
And at bat once again,
But it’s taking them more than one inning!”
(2003)

BOXER REBELLION
I will thank Gore and Bush in advance
If they’ll promise to take a firm stance
And conceal their beliefs
About boxers or briefs
And their preference in underpants.
(2000)

THE JOURNALIST
In the past, he was forced to “pay dues”
And develop “a nose for the news.”
Well, he still has a nose,
But, my, how it grows
When the facts must conform to his views!
(1996)

INSTANT ANALYSIS
Jennings, Rather, Brokaw
Seem determined to jabber and jaw.
They think we’re too dumb
To discern the outcome
Of the campaign debate we just saw.
(1991)

Last week’s limerick:

BINGE
“If you cut back on some of your snacks,
You’d have belllies as flat as Barack’s!”
“Well, a budget’s a diet:
Maybe Barry should try it
And resist the temptation to tax!”

To join the weekly politickle subscriber list, email subscribe [at] politickles.com.