Politickles

Mass times and readings

On Tuesday there’s a good chance “Mickey Mouse” will help bolster the vote count of Pennsylvania Senate candidate Joe Sestak and other Democratic hopefuls across the country. – Matthew Vadum

ACORNOMICS
A gangster hired an advisor
To make the “wise guy” wiser:
“If you want to take over,
I advise a makeover
As ‘community organizer.’”
(2009)

MIGHTY HOAX
Assigning bailout blame
Can be a cryptic game,
One must be deft,
Read on the left:
Now you know the name.
(2008)

REGISTERED VOTERS
The polls open and who comes in?
Mary Poppins and Mickey Finn,
Then Betty Boop
And Alley Oop,
Sherlock Holmes and Gunga Din!
(2004)

Everywhere I looked this month I saw a pink ribbon. It was on my dry cleaning bag, grocery bag, coffee cup, mail catalogs, receipts, billboards — it goes on and on. Don’t get me wrong. I love the color pink, and breast cancer prevention and finding a cure is critical to women today. However, I also love the truth. – Jenn Giroux

Who cares what harm you’re causing as long as you feel good about yourself?

Planned Parenthood’s Partnership with Churches

[E]very modern totalitarian movement – every enemy of a free society – has moved early and aggressively to disrupt or destroy the institution of natural marriage. – Alan Carlson

Allegations regarding [Frank Marshall] Davis’ Communism are sure to infuriate the Left because of the influence Davis once had over our president. He was a drinking buddy of Barack Obama’s maternal grandfather, Stanley Dunham, and spent time with young Obama. . . . Recently, a U.S. Communist-party official confirmed the relationship, bragging in a speech of the Communist Davis’ formative influence over Obama. And yet when the allegations surfaced during the 2008 campaign, they went virtually unreported in the mainstream media. – Paul Kengor

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

HOUSE OF HORRORS
By the demons we all have been taunted
As unnatural powers were flaunted,
But the townsfolk will rout
And then drive the fiends out
Of the House on the Hill that is haunted.

From the archive:

GETTING WHAT WE ASK FOR
Halloween we all shout “Trick or Treat!”
As we hit every house on the street.
The next morning we wake
With a bad stomach ache,
‘Cause we had too much candy to eat.
(2009)

NANCYLVANIA
With the change in the House status quo, see
The new Madame Speaker Pelosi
Enduring the glare
With the crazed, glassy stare
Of a transgendered Bela Lugosi.
(2007)

NIGHT OF THE VOTING DEAD
“We’ll be summoned from slumberous state
To endorse the quadrennial slate;
Then it’s back to the grave,
Where we’ll try to behave
‘Til the conclave of 2008!”
(2004)

REGISTERED VOTERS
The polls open and who comes in?
Mary Poppins and Mickey Finn,
Then Betty Boop
And Alley Oop,
Sherlock Holmes and Gunga Din!
(2004)

THE GREAT BUMPKIN
Linus scans the nightscape scary
For a form imaginary:
There, looming tall
Like an orange ball,
Glows a pumpkin-colored Kerry!
(2004)

HILLAREEN
What compares to the horrible fright
That will haunt us on Halloween night?
Consider the fear,
As elections draw near,
Ghoulish candidates soon will excite!
(2003)

RECOUNT DRACULA
There once was a man named Vlad
Who was known for a habit he had:
With such pride in his nailing,
When he took to impaling
No one ever would challenge his chad.
(2000)

WHAT IS IT, E-GORE?
The mad doctor was testing a drug
When he felt on his labcoat a tug:
“Master, oh Master,
We’ve got to work faster
To destroy the Millennium Bug!”
(1999)

ZOMBIES
From justice they craftily fled
And avoided the sanctions they dread;
Now O.J. and Bill
Can linger at will
In the night of the fast-living dead.
(1999)

Last week’s limerick:

GUILT TEA
When it heats up and lets out a scream,
My tea kettle releases some steam:
I’m committing a crime
By affecting the clime!
Does this seem just a little extreme?

Mass times and readings

All 15 episodes of “Tea Time” are contained in this 2.5-minute compilation.

TEA TIME GIRL: You can burn your hands on a kettle or scald yourself with hot tea. Should the government make us wear mittens and drink tepid tea? I think I can handle the danger.

Here’s another episode of “Tea Time.” Look for the complete collection on Youtube and Facebook. Enjoy, share, and remember in November!