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Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:
“Science says beware because
Now it’s warmer than it was.
Just listen to me
And you’ll agree:
Science says what I say it does.”
From the archive:
Do delusions of warming derange
And compel poor Al Gore to act strange?
No, the reason he’s fishin’
For those caps on emission
Is his stock in the carbon exchange.
Has Al Gore taken too many tokes
On that strange cigarette that he smokes?
Still, the burden of proof
Is on every green goof
Who espouses the climate-change hoax.
AN INCONSISTENT BOOB, CONT.
“If superior beings ignore
Certain limits and use a bit more,
Then the peons, I guess,
Will just have to use less,”
Sniffed a gluttonous, glutinous Gore.
They defend climate change willy-nilly,
And lately they’ve gotten plain silly:
Saying snow, ice, and sleet
Must be caused by the heat –
And that’s why the weather’s so chilly.
As a theory it’s cheesily charming,
Except when the neighborhood’s swarming
With snow, sleet, and ice
From unfair Fahrenheits,
And we’re longing for real global warming.
While it has been unreasonably hot,
And I do tend to wish it were not,
I am glad to save gas
By not cutting the grass,
’Cause there’s none on my shriveled-up lot.
AN INCONSISTENT BOOB
Al Gore worries the world’s getting hot,
And all over the globe he will trot,
Warmly warning the masses
About grave greenhouse gases
Caused by people who travel a lot.
Every Spring they start their swarming
And fantastical alarming,
Fearing and oh-dearing
That the end is nearing,
’Cause it’s April and it’s warming.
Alarmists like to heighten
Anxieties and frighten –
Their aim’s made clear
In State of Fear
By author Michael Crichton.
Whether sickly or healthy and hale,
We object when the air gets too stale,
But what shall we do
When they ban CO2
And deny us the right to exhale?
TRUTH IN THE BALANCE
The temperature’s not getting higher.
Our environmental future’s not dire.
With the best yet to come,
There’s no need to be glum:
Al Gore, you’re an ozone liar!
Doomsday deadlines bear recalling
When they’ve passed and we’re not sprawling:
If dreaded fate
Is running late,
Then perhaps the sky’s not falling.
We’re faced with a problem that’s prickly.
We’d better do something, and quickly.
Forget the suspicions
About greenhouse emissions:
It’s the wind from the White House that’s sickly.
The penguin complained, “It’s too hot!”
The hippo replied, “No, it’s not!”
The gator, when polled,
Insisted, “Too cold!”
And the polar bear grumbled, “What rot!”
THINK GULLIBLY, ACT LOCO-LY
The temperature rose in July
Compared to December, quite high.
It’s really alarming
This “seasonal warming.”
Oh, lordy, we’re all gonna fry!
Last week’s limerick:
WE’RE ALL TERRORISTS NOW
If your moral convictions are strong,
You distinguish between right and wrong,
And believe in one God,
Then you’re certainly odd
And a prison is where you belong.