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  • Jan 27 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: LOOKS GOOD TO MEME

LOOKS GOOD TO MEME
I’m reluctant to act like a rash wag,
But I’m anxious to launch a new hashtag
And to see my neat theme
Be the next viral meme –
If I don’t toss it into the trash bag.

Song parodies commissioned by PublicAdvocateUSA.org

DAY DRINKER
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
Not a good Speaker
Pretending to be so devout
She’s a day drinker
Loves her liquor, yeah
It takes her so long to dry out
We found out

She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a big boozer
She’s not completely all there
She’s a day drinker, ETC.

Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
Try to please her,
You’ll never meet her demands
She’s a day drinker, ETC.

MADAMSPEAKERVILLE
Numb from a rum cake, watching the House take
One of those votes that call for roll call
Starting to toddle, I downed a whole bottle
Grab the lectern and try not to fall

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Trump’s fault

Watch me unravel, wavin’ my gavel
With nothing to show but these souvenir pens
I’m limp as linguini from vodka martinis
What I say doesn’t make any sense

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Ronald Dump’s fault

I have a confession: I open each session
High as a kite, cruising on cruise control
But I’ll get through this bender and enact my agenda
Protecting the Deep State’s my one single goal

Wasting away again in MadamSpeakerVille
Searchin’ for my last scotch single malt
Some people claim I’m the woman to blame
But I know it’s Donald Duck’s fault

Last week’s limerick

MATH EXTINCTION
When a vigorous inward migration
Overwhelms an effete population,
People have to be dumb
Not to know the outcome:
What will follow is sure subjugation.

  • Jan 20 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: MATH EXTINCTION


MATH EXTINCTION
When a vigorous inward migration
Overwhelms an effete population,
People have to be dumb
Not to know the outcome:
What will follow is sure subjugation.

From the archive

ROE v. PPFA
A class action suit surely should
Be filed against Planned Parenthood
For the women they lied to,
And the babies that died, too:
Would you rule for these victims? I would.
(2019)

ELDER ABUSE
When the March for Life ended, a crowd
Of hate-spewing racists got loud
And those Covington kids
With their red MAGA lids
Were accosted by lying “Red Cloud.”
(2019)

CRYING GAME
When he wants to, Obama can cry,
But you won’t see a drop in his eye –
No, he won’t shed a tear –
For the million each year
Of babies aborted who die.
(2016)

MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD
There’s no need for a gun or a knife
When the war’s a nonviolent strife:
Those who won’t reproduce
Put themselves in the noose
And surrender a land without life.
(2015)

PROSECUTION FOR THE WITNESS
Having witnessed a hideous crime,
He identified all of the prime
Individuals involved,
But the case is resolved
With the witness the one doing time.
(2015)

CHILDHOOD MEMORY
“I once had a daughter or son.
To this day, I don’t know which one.
I later was wed.
Still, my first child is dead.
Please forgive me for what I have done.”
(2014)

MARCH
No, their numbers are never reported
(If they were, they’d be greatly distorted),
But this year in the throng,
Fifty million-plus strong,
Are the souls of the children aborted.
(2013)

POSTNATAL ABORTION
Oh, the wailing could hardly be shriller
For the fallen abortionist Tiller:
How those pro-choicers burn
With such tender concern
For an infamous serial killer!
(2009)

NO BIG DEAL
Why feel sorry for the slain
While you’re sucking out his brain,
Tearing off of him
Every little limb,
If he cannot feel real pain?
(2005)

DOA
“Shall I never see the morn?
Hear a rattle, bell, or horn?
Or taste the air?
Or touch your hair?
Must I die before I’m born?”
(2005)

WHY GENERATION
For magnolia, for moss, and for myrtle,
For tarpon, for toad, and for turtle,
For the bird and the beast,
And for mankind not least,
The future belongs to the fertile.
(2004)

MOTHER’S DAZE
“In confusion I resorted
To the ‘choice’ that was exhorted;
Now every day
I cry and pray
For the baby I aborted.”
(2003)

LOST ON EARTH
We’re so eager to find a trace
Of the least little life in space,
But here on Earth
We bar the birth
Of lives we could embrace.
(2001)

CHOICE POSITION
Don’t be fooled by the “pro-choice” ruse
That amoralists use to confuse,
For your choices could
Be bad or good
And it matters how you choose.
(2001)

LEGAL ISSUE
Five Justices’ wanton support
Preserves the grim “right” to abort:
To keep babies alive,
Replace one of those five
And establish a life-choosing Court.
(2000)

TERRIFIED TISSUE
“Oh, Mama, don’t let that thing get me!
Oh, Mama, you’ve not even met me!
Oh, Mama, please give
Me a lifetime to live!
Oh, Mama, you’d never regret me!”
(2000)

Last week’s limerick

UKRANIUM ONE
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.



  • Jan 13 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: Ukranium One

UKRANIUM ONE
Of a scandal, there’s not been a whiff?
Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, and Schiff
All have ties to Ukraine
That they cannot explain:
It’s no longer a question of if.

From the archive

JOE BRIBIN’
“There’s no conflict for me or for Sonny –
That’s a fact, even if it sounds funny.
You can trust me,” says Joe,
“There was no quid pro quo
When we traded influence for money.”
(2019)

SOME FOUNDATION
Now at last we are hearing the knell
For a devilish global cartel
Dealing drugs, arms, and kids
And horrific snuff vids:
Is there anything Clintons won’t sell?
(2019)

IF IT PROSPER
All the sins of the Clintons are bared,
Yet you’d think not a single soul cared,
But we know what’s the reason
None dare call it treason:
They’re complicit, complacent, or scared.
(2018)

FROM ‘RUSSIA’ WITH LOVE
Short-term goal: Infiltrate and derail
And make sure Donald Trump can’t prevail;
Mission code name: No Drama;
Agent: Double Obama;
Long-term goal: Keep us all out of jail.
(2018)

URANIUM ONE
To avoid an erroneous conclusion,
Let’s begin by dispelling confusion:
It was Hillary who took
Russian bribes like a crook,
It was Hillary engaged in collusion.
(2017)

Last week’s limerick

THE MULLAH REPORT
Soleimani got snuffed in Iraq
While preparing another attack,
And the mullahs are vexed
’Cause they know they’ll be next
If they’re stupid enough to strike back.

  • Jan 06 / 2020
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Your Weekly Politickle: THE MULLAH REPORT


THE MULLAH REPORT
Soleimani got snuffed in Iraq
While preparing another attack,
And the mullahs are vexed
’Cause they know they’ll be next
If they’re stupid enough to strike back.

From the archive

0BAMA
If his predecessor was to blame
For each failure attached to his name,
As a form of redress
His successor’s success
He should now be permitted to claim.
(2018)

U.S. OPEN
How Obama will stutter and sputter
And act like his spine’s made of butter!
Nine-Eleven draws near,
But there’s nothing to fear
With our leader’s firm grip on his putter.
(2014)

OBAMA DOCTRINE
There’s no need for a war on terror.
Just say no to the c’est-la-guerrer.
Everything will be ducky
As long as we’re lucky
And the terrorist makes an error.
(2010)

CORDOBA
Like a swaggering conquering hero,
Rauf is building a mosque at Ground Zero
— Where some 3000 bodies
Were interred by jihadis —
And Obama just fiddles like Nero.
(2010)

SUBMISSION
These new guidelines are certainly odd:
“We must never denounce the jihad;
We must never demean
The mujahideen,
As they force us to worship their god.”
(2008)

9-11, THE MOVIE
“We’ve done all we could possibly do
To incorporate your point of view!”
“Oh, I know,” said blythe Bill,
“But I’m wondering still,
Could you please make your movie less true?”
(2006)

SEPTEMBER 11TH
Kissed my loved one at the door.
No idea what lay in store.
In the tower
Not an hour.
Now my loved one is no more.
(2001)

Last week’s limerick

HAIL, STORM!
Though it seemed it would never appear,
2020 is finally here:
When our victory is won
And the Deep State undone,
It will be such a glorious year!



  • Dec 30 / 2019
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Uncategorized

Your Weekly Politickle: HAIL, STORM!

HAIL, STORM!
Though it seemed it would never appear,
2020 is finally here:
When our victory is won
And the Deep State undone,
It will be such a glorious year!

From the archive

2020 VISION
Every “truth” in their credulous creed
Was instilled by the MSM feed:
How their heads will explode
When the false “facts” erode
And the real truth comes out at warp speed!
(2019)

NAILED IT!
At the start of each year: aspirations.
At the end of each year: celebrations.
Every year turns out good
When you knew that it would
’Cause you had very low expectations.
(2018)

TOO MUCH WINNING
If you liked this year much more
Than the eight that went before,
Just wait and see
What another three
Or seven have in store.
(2017)

2017
With last month’s great electoral win,
A new president soon to come in,
And our eight-year-long slump
Sure to end (thanks to Trump),
I can’t wait for next year to begin!
(2016)

TIME!
At the outset our standards were high,
But they lowered as deadlines drew nigh:
With the end of the year
Now uncomfortably near,
We’ll do just what we must to get by.
(2015)

HAPPY YOU NEAR!
Celebrate with champagne and hoorays
All three hundred and sixty-five days:
Every eve is like New Year
When you have the right who there
And your hearts are two fireworks ablaze.
(2014)

WHITE LIE
As the years made them grayer and golder,
Every New Year’s he hugged her and told her
That he loved her and she
Was still young as could be –
Though their children had gotten much older.
(2014)

MAYOR MAY NOT
We can’t know what the future will bring,
What health hazards Fate at us will fling,
But there’s nothing to fear
In Manhattan this year:
Mayor Bloomers has banned everything.
(2012)

BARACK AGAIN
Suffered three years so far of Obama
And Michelle, our new substitute mama:
Cannot wait ’til he’s canned
And we won’t have to stand
Yet another full year of his drama.
(2011)

THAT’S A WRAP!
There were high points to Two-Thousand-Ten,
Forming memories recalled with a grin:
Yes, I had me some fun,
But I’m glad that it’s done –
And I wouldn’t go through it again.
(2010)

RESOLUTIONS
1. Reconnect with a special old friend
2. Earn a few dollars more than I spend
3. Try to concentrate solely
On becoming more holy
4. Make it all the way through to year’s end.
(2009)

YEAR MUFF
I sure hope that it isn’t a sign
Of accelerating mental decline
When I know it’s too late
To write 2008
But forget to write 2009.
(2008)

NEW YEAR
I’m a victim of non-circumstance,
Having gone through the year in a trance.
Maybe 2008
Didn’t turn out so great,
But I’ll soon have another new chance.
(2008)

SISYPHUS
For 12 months I had strived to get there,
And at last to the top I drew near;
When I reached the hill’s crown,
The stone rolled right back down,
So I’m starting all over this year.
(2007)

JANUARY 1
I resolve not to gain any weight,
I resolve not to ever be late,
I resolve not to get
Any further in debt –
On this single inceptional date!
(2007)

ANNUAL REPORT
I’m amazed when the year’s finally through
At the things that I’ve managed to do,
But I can’t understand
Why the things that I planned
Are the things that I never got to.
(2006)

OUT OF TIME
How I leapt into 2005
And pursued all my plans with such drive!
But it’s now crystal clear
That there’s not enough year
Before 2006 will arrive.
(2005)

RUN OF THE MILLENNIUM
Our thousand-year party was fun.
We’ll repeat it for 2001.
A millennial glow
Two years in a row
And a hangover second to none!
(2000)

DISCONTINUING RESOLUTIONS
Resolutions I’ve hastily made
Are infrequently kept, I’m afraid;
Still, I find I can live up
To a promise to give up
Resolutions I’ve hastily made.
(1998)

Last week’s limerick

BROKEN RECORD
“You can stop acting like a snotty puss,
It’s beginning to get monotonous,
I’ve said all I will say,
So just know, Christmas Day,
You’re not getting a hippopotamus.”

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