From the archive
BASKET OF DEPORTABLES
“If you come to our home the right way,
Friendly strangers, you’re welcome to stay;
If you try to sneak in,
You’ll be sent back again:
‘Bon voyage!’ and ‘Have an ICE day!’”
“You’re a member of the Left to me –
A brother, uncle, nephew, see?
You can rape my wife
Or take my life:
It’s okay if you’re a ‘refugee.’”
There’s no need to rattle sabers
Just because we’re checking papers:
We will build a wall
To screen them all
‘Cause good fences make good neighbors.
Our last names may be Hess, Hock, or Harrigan,
Federov, Feldstein, or Farrakhan,
Nguyen, Wong, Kim, or Pena,
But we’re one and we’re all all-American.
DREAMERS FROM MY FATHERLAND
“People say I pursue my goals sneakily
Or, exceeding my powers, act regally,
But I’ve done what I’ve done
‘Cause I feel myself one
With the folks who have come here illegally.”
Open borders and mass immigration,
Racial riots and war:
That’s what he has in store,
That’s Obama’s macabre “transformation.”
If you’re in someone’s home as a guest,
Try to see that your host is impressed:
Don’t do anything wrong
And don’t stay overlong
Or in any way act like a pest.
WELCOME TO AMERICA
“You illegally crossed our border?
You’re a drugs and weapons importer?
You’re a sociopath
Spewing venomous wrath?
Yes, everything seems in order.”
It came as an inspiration,
The solution to mass immigration:
For each incoming worker,
Deport one native shirker
To some socialist paradise nation.
BLANK LIKE ME
Census takers who tally my head
Will not know if I’m black, white, or red:
Because, in the space
To designate race,
I’ll inscribe the word “human” instead.
Adding Euro- and Afro- won’t do:
Ethnic conflict will only ensue.
No hyphen for me:
I’m happy to be
An American through and through.
Last week’s limerick
REWARD & PUNISHMENT
Those sweet carrots on a string
And hard sticks you sometimes swing –
When too often denied
Or too often applied –
Lose their sapor and their sting.