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  • Jun 17 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle” PSYCHO LOGICAL

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

PSYCHO LOGICAL
As can now be convincingly shown,
Every mass shooter’s mindset is known:
Though he may be insane,
He will still use his brain
And decide to attack gun-free zones.

From the archive

RABID RESPONSE
We hear calls for the banning of guns
Every time a mass murderer stuns,
But if bombs, cars, or knives
Have claimed multiple lives,
We hear calls for the banning of guns.
(2018)

THINK!
Before going all in, why not pause
To research pros and cons of your “cause”?
For example, inquire
Why the murder rate’s higher
In the cities with gun-control laws.
(2017)

ARMS & THE MANDATE
What the Second Amendment defends
Is a right on which all else depends:
To resist subjugation
Of ourselves and our nation
And live free as our Maker intends.
(2016)

PROTECTED CLASS
“When all private gun ownership’s barred,
I’m sure giving up mine won’t be hard:
I’ll be safe as before,
And perhaps even more –
’Cause I’ll have a well-armed bodyguard.”.
(2013)

CONTROLLING PERSONALITY
Though the news out of Newtown was grim,
Mayor Bloomberg’s reaction was dim.
Why we keep and bear arms?
To respond to alarms
And protect us from tyrants like him.
(2012)

FULL DISCLOSURE
A stripper deemed too independent
Was called into court as defendant;
She said of her charms:
“I’ve the right ‘to bare arms’;
It’s enshrined in the Second Amendment.”
(2002)

TOO SAFE
“Wake up, Dear, go downstairs, and look!
I heard a strange noise in the nook!”
“Where’s the key to the lock
On my .380 Glock?”
“Oh, I hung it somewhere on a hook!”
(1999)

WITNESS FOR THE DEFENSE
Anyone who cannot be persuaded
That our gun rights must not be degraded
Should inquire of the Swiss,
Who are armed and don’t miss,
Why it is that they’re never invaded.
(1998)

BETTER READY THAN DEAD
Here’s a survey that needs to be done
On the merits of having a gun:
Ask anyone harmed
By a thug who was armed
If he wishes he, too, had had one.
(1997)

Last week’s limerick

BYE BYE, BIRDIE
“I never was a quitter
And I’m not the least bit bitter,
But, if I can’t say
Things in my own way,
Then I’m giving up on Twitter.”

  • Jun 10 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: Bye Bye, Birdie

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BYE BYE, BIRDIE
“I never was a quitter
And I’m not the least bit bitter,
But, if I can’t say
Things in my own way,
Then I’m giving up on Twitter.”

From the archive

NO FARTHER
“Father’s Day rolls around and (oh, brother!),
If it’s not one weird thing, it’s another.
Meet my current stepdad,
The third one that I’ve had:
He’s now trying to pass as my mother.”
(2015)

DAD RECKONING
“Though my comments may sometimes offend
And it seem I’ve gone off the deep end,
I’m determined to see
You live longer than me:
I’m your father and not just your friend.”
(2014)

HAPPY WHATEVER’S DAY!
“Is your father a man? I’m so glad.
That’s the kind that I wish that I had –
One that’s not a pretender,
One that is the right gender –
But my mother’s butch lover’s my ‘dad.’”
(2013)

POP PSYCHOLOGY
What a fashion sense he had,
Mixing stripes and checks with plaid!
And the jokes that he told,
All so corny and old!
How I miss my dear old dad!
(2011)

THE INVISIBLE MAN
Someone opened a devilish door
Without caring what might lie in store:
Disconnected from “donors,”
Single mothers are loners
And their kids don’t have dads anymore.
(2010)

FATHER TIME
Twenty years ago I lost my dad
And the loss to this day makes me sad,
But I’m glad he was there
In my formative years
And can cherish the time that we had.
(2009)

POOR DAD
“I’ve been poor since the day of my birth
And may die with a negative worth;
Though I live on the skids,
With my wonderful kids,
I’m the wealthiest man on the earth!”
(2007)

LONE CHENEY
“Mommy, why did you do something bad?
Mommy, why did you make me so sad?
Mommy, what will you say
When I ask you one day,
‘Mommy, why don’t I have my own Dad?’”
(2007)

FATHERS STAY
The third Sunday in June will be gray
For the sons and the daughters who may
Not remember the dad
That they never quite had
’Cause he left them and went far away.
(2006)

Last week’s limerick

STUBBORN MUELLER
“I could find no proof of his guilt,
Which is why the case that I built
May seem unduly flimsy
And reliant on whimsy
Like a patchwork, poorly made quilt.”

  • Jun 03 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: STUBBORN MUELLER

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

STUBBORN MUELLER
“I could find no proof of his guilt,
Which is why the case that I built
May seem unduly flimsy
And reliant on whimsy
Like a patchwork, poorly made quilt.”

From the archive

MUELLER RETORT
Robert Mueller was forced to conclude
Donald Trump is incredibly shrewd:
Though it looks to the throng
Like he did nothing wrong,
He conspired so as not to collude.
(2019)

Last week’s limerick

BLUE STATE
Are the Democrats singing the blues?
Are they drowning their sorrows in booze
And resorting to rants
As they pee in their pants?
I would not want to be in their shoes.

  • May 27 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: BLUE STATE

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

BLUE STATE
Are the Democrats singing the blues?
Are they drowning their sorrows in booze
And resorting to rants
As they pee in their pants?
I would not want to be in their shoes.

From the archive

TDS
Are these symptoms familiar to you:
Bulging eyes and pinched lips turning blue,
Heart a-pounding (thump thump)
At the mention of Trump,
Raw emotions and lowered IQ?
(2018)

Last week’s limerick

NOTA
Two dozen Dems vie for domination
To see who can get the nomination,
But whomever they choose
The Democrats lose
Because every one’s an abomination.

  • May 20 / 2019
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Your Weekly Politickle: NOTA

Feel free to publish, post, or pass on Your Weekly Politickle by F.R. Duplantier:

NOTA
Two dozen Dems vie for domination
To see who can get the nomination,
But whomever they choose
The Democrats lose
Because every one’s an abomination.

From the archive

MR. PRECEDENT
What a vile conglomeration
Of every abomination:
In Clinton’s wake,
Only villains will make
A bid for the nomination.
(1999)

Last week’s song parody

AMERICAN SPY
(as sung by HRC)

I can’t remember if I cried
When I realized I’d been denied,
But something scorched me deep inside
The day “collusion” died.

Why? Why? My American spies –
Comey, Brennan, and their brethren –
Were unethical guys,
But those good old boys
Came up empty and dry,
Leaving me no way to defy
Leaving me no way to defy.

I was a homely, enraged, pompous frump
With an insane notion I could outwit Trump,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day “collusion” died.

I started singing Why? Why? ETC.

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